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Falling in love in the Philippines

 

I can’t count the number of guys that fell in love in the Philippines that I have known over the years.  Going back to 1978 when I first arrived at Subic Bay as a young man I have seen guys meet the girls, fall in love and plan marriage within a week’s times to her. Not being a fleet sailor but a Seabee doing construction work my unit didn’t deploy to the Philippines unless it was for disaster recovery to rebuild road, run power line and rebuild bridges.  We worked long hours each day and had little liberty but when we did have a chance to hit the town we hit it hard and together.

Since we worked out side of the city are we had a chance to meet to people out in the barrio’s where life is much more simple and everyone was much more friendly and real.

The girls working in Olongapo where to work to support their families first and foremost but if they land a husband then that was the big ticket to the U.S. of A. and a dream come true for them and the family.

For the guys the Filipina woman was something to behold and love for few women around the world treat a man like a Filipina does. They will steal your heart in minutes and make you feel as if you have known her for years. It is hard to explain and if one day I ever could then I will would have the secret of the Filipino woman.

Days of old are pass now and the 400+ bars of Olongapo City are gone the 15,000 girls that were regular workers on Magsaysay have all gone. So now the only reminisce of the old day are found in the Barrio Barretto and Subic city areas. While Olongapo City still has bars with girls dancing it is a far cry from what it was before.

So now the girls working in the bars face a different situation when it comes to meeting men in the bars for a relationship. Now men come to Subic Bay on vacation to have a good time and relax. With the exchange rate being what it is visitors can come here and enjoy themselves unlike many other places in the world. Money is king as we all know and for those coming to the Philippines they bring 200,000+ peso if not more for their stay. Some come for a few weeks while others come for 3 to 4 months at a time. The lour of the Philippines is strong and those that have been here will always return.

So now let us talk about the relations that happen:

The good and the bad

Some girls hook on to a guy saying all that is needed to be said to make him feel the love she says she has for him and in many cases it is true the sad part is once the girls get in that bar life it is hard to break out of. Like the old saying, “What they don’t know, can’t hurt them!” But with the Barrio Barretto area being so small and everyone talking it is hard to keep secrets quiet and in time the guy will find out, added to that the way people Facebook word will truly get out in a matter of time.

(Don’t get me wrong like all my writing I talk generally so nothing applies to everyone so please always keep that in mind.)

Dealing with the girls that are working in a bar and having a relationship with one is risky business and not to know that is foolish not to say it can’t work but if you can’t except her for what is she and what her job was then you are just fooling yourself and the relationship will never work while it is true it takes both parties to make any relationship work each party need to honest in and about the relationship and that my friends is the hard part!

For the guys; it is about keeping a clear head and not getting “lost in the fantasy” (LIF) of the Philippines. I have yet to meet a Filipina that did not say, “Age makes no difference in a relationship!” For a lot of guys this is a dream come true because now they can have the sweet young thing under their arm and feel years younger themselves. There are few places where a man have a little money and life like a king in so many ways and the women understand that and use that small fact to their advantage. You can blame them for that it is just the way things are here. Everyone wants a better life for themselves and their family, right?

Rules set by boyfriends: Some men get a girl friend then right and then right from the start they start to set rules and restriction on the girl and some of what I have heard from girls is really a bit over the top if not outright crazy in my opinion. Surely something the guy would never try to do if back in their own country so I wonder why they pull that stuff here? I mean if you don’t trust the girl just have your fun and go home, what is the big deal? Oh yeah, (LIF) you really like/love her after 3 days. So you start to make plans with your new found love while here on vacation great but then you go home and back to your friends who start to talk to you about what the hell you are doing! Then you start to over think what you are doing and things change. Now you have that seed of wonder planted in your mind and you start to question everything but you still hold on to that hope that your worst fears are unfounded but how to be sure? So you tell her don’t go here or there, don’t see these people and the list goes on and on. Well, like anyone who is being controlled over time this ware on the other person and they could decide to do what they want while you are gone, after all “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”, and trust me the girls will never tell on each other unless her girlfriend wants you for herself then her girlfriend will tell you everything.

Last final word:

If you are planning to come to the Philippines just to have a good time, do that and have a great time doing it. If you are looking for someone to have a lasting relationship be honest with yourself, your feeling and what you want. Things are a bit different here then back home but when it comes to a serious relationship all is the same. You get out of a relationship what you put into it. If there is miss trust then you have already lost and need to move on.

Since I have been here I have meet some really great people who found boyfriends and keep to the guys, they stopped working in the bar and waited for their men to return but things did not always work out as the girls had hoped. I guess this is just life here and not much has changed in the way men treat or look at the Filipina woman over all.

But at the same time I can see why things have not changed too. It only takes 1 to ruin it for everyone and that is my opinion, I could be wrong but what else is new!

 

 

© Warren's Subic Bay  / Last Update - 17 June, 2015