Trying to understand the Filipina Bar Girl, Good Luck!


Even since 1978 I have been around Filipinaís, before I even made it overseas I have been around them and trying to understand them. So here it is 2012 and 34 years later it still beats the shit out of me about these women. Now understand I am not talking about all Filipinaís because there are those rare gems out there and if you are lucky enough to have one my hats off to you.

Being in the Navy for 24 years I had my chance to meet a lot of Filipinaís not just in the Philippines but also in Guam, Okinawa, Singapore, Spain, and around the bases in the states like Long Beach, San Diego, Alameda, Mira Mar, and Orlando so as you can well guess most of these girls were married at one point or another to military guy.  The other cases are they man planned to marry the girl and brought her to the states after doing all the paper work and then once she got her Green Card to stay in the states she was gone.

Itís hard to say how many of these girls worked in  bars but it is a safe bet that at least 70% did. It was so easy to fall in love while in the Philippines, the girls treated you like a king, showed you all the love and affection any man could ever want no matter what you looked like or where you were from. For those guys where it was their first time away from home and being exposed to such a way of life of course many were blinded to the surrounding and happening that took place and jumped in with both feet.

I have know some of these girls that made great wives that any men would love to have but most, well that is a different story which I will get to later!

Travelling to the Philippines while in the service is a bit different then when you travel there on vacation as non-military.  The military man has a pocket full of cash and is willing to spend it for the short time he is there and they party hard and have a great time doing it. Civilians are a bet more unyielding with their cash and look for the best deal they can get since most of their visits a longer.

I have a girl friend that use to work in a bar, it wasnít easy on me at all sometimes, we had out great times and we had our really bad times too. But for me I never looked it as a mistake, yeah I knew what could have happen while she still worked there but like anyone in a relationship it is about building trust with that person. Showing that no matter what happens you are still there to support them and comfort them when needed.  If your relationship is only based on sex will it will never work with a girl working in a bar, you will drive yourself crazy each night you are not there. But if you focus on the feeling you have for each other then you may have half a chance, yes that is right half a chance!

For me I when into the relation with my eyes wide open and knew the pit falls that would be coming and that I had to hang in there to make it work and in my case it has so far it has, luck, maybe, who knows?

Let me add this one little bit; this article can apply to any bar girl anywhere in world!

Hearts of love

Bar girls:

So when it comes to dealing with a Filipina bar girl what kind of things are you facing, well first off look at the job she has to earn her pay; sell drinks and keeps the customer company for a share of the cost of her drink, leave the bar with the customer for short time or if the customer is willing and she likes him somewhat  get of early and see where the night will lead, all of which the customer has to pay the bar for and she gets a cut of the cost for leaving the bar early. What happens once they leave the bar is up to the couple but in most cases the customer will make is plans for the evening know before he pay for her to get off work, after all no one wants a misunderstanding later in the evening, right?

In the bars the girls meet a lot of different men of all over the world and all kind of people, some good, some just ok and some real losers too! Since the bars have been running for decades under the same kind of operations the chances of grandmothers, mother and daughter all working in a bar as some point can be very common. The stories that the girls share about the men that they meet and the stories (lies) they were told by these men build a wall around there women do anything you tell them they will not believe for the most part, Bola Bola as they call it, basically saying you are lying to them, but they will say it to you in a joking manner but the truth is they are not joking! So in return they will  Bola Bola you too about everything! They donít trust men at all when it come to a guy talking about being single and not having a girl friend or wife.

Every move you make and everything you say will be closely looked at and listened to for the slightest sign of deception towards her even if you just meet her only 5 minutes ago! You look at another the wrong way and right away they will ask or at least think, ďYou want her?Ē Jealousy runs deep though these girls veins.

These girls know why you are in the bar and what you want even if you donít! So they play the game and trust me they are damn good at it too, you got to love these girls, you really do! You can know them for 10 minutes and feel like you have know here your whole life and she is the best thing since bottle beer! They just have that way about them and it is hard not to fall into the trap and take one out of the bar. But again to them this is only business and that is all, she plays the game to earn her pay to support her family and in a lot of cases her child too. She could be the only one working in her whole family so she does what she has to do to meet that need. Family is always #1 never for get that fact!

These girls are skilled:

When they meet a man that really falls for them hard and is not experienced in the bars they will milk him dry of his cash quickly even after he leaves the country. "Thank god for Western Union" these girls must think. The main attraction to the girls in the bar is how they make you feel like a king is such a short period of time, it is just amazing how they can make you feel loved like you never knew before in such a short time, no matter what you look like too so it is easy for a newbie to the bar there to fall into the trap and get pulled in to the web which is hard to escape from because the guy cannot tell the truth from the lies he is being feed about sick parents, house needing repairs, or how it has been slow in the bar and need help to pay her bills and the list goes on and on.

For those that live in the Philippines and visit the bars a lot they have all been down the same roads and have learned the games  well also, they have learned to set rules for their girl friends or girls they see a lot on how the relationship will work.

Some of the bar girls have boyfriends either in country or not and if you get to know some of the outside of the bar and have a chance to talk to them they tell you how much they love this guy but still work in bar and going out with other guys. Of course the boyfriend doesnít know if an expat while many local men may know her job in the bar, it is just a weird set up and I think unless you grew up in the Philippines it is one thing you can never fully understand. So you have to wonder where the love of this person is if she is still going on with other guys, oh yeah that is only business and not a feeling of affection to the person fully so this can be hard for many to deal with, how can she love her boyfriend and still work in the bar? But let her find out you have been a bar with a girl by your side and you will have hell to pay for!

Some girls just love sex that work in the bars they will make you go crazy in the bad while some are only there for  the money and put little effort in to it and just wants to get it done and then go sleep and / or have a friend call saying she need s to get home right away.

When you think of a bar girl she is on the same level as the man when it come to sex; it is only a fuck and it is all about $$$, ok? You bola bola her and she does the same to you so everyone is happy. You get a girl for the night and she gets paid and it is just that simple! So everyone is happy.

The down side:

For a guy that is honest and really loves the girl it is an uphill battle, first her need to prove to her over and over again he is honest to her and if the guy can deal with the fact that she is still seeing other guys and having sex with them because that is her job for the most part then they may have a chance, but you know most guys will never accept that. So how to deal with having a bar girl that is you girl friend knowing what happens in the bar or even worst outside of the bar?

Itís like this, if I could take her out so fast why canít others?

For the guys it is a tricky game to play also to find that one that is be true to them.  We wan to believe but it is hard also because of the time we got uses, taken, ripped off and abused emotionally, which happens too for some guys.

Non-bar girls:

If you are an expat living in country or on vacation chances are you will have the chance to meet a different bread of Filipina, maybe the office work or the girl that works in shop in the mall or wherever but in may ways the game is the same. She knows what you have and how you can help her and her family. These girls know the same games but go about it a different way. Sex will be a big part of it that is for sure but what guy can pass that up?

Understanding that the Philippines for the most of the population is a very poor country so when they see a way to make life better for themselves and the family they will jump on it. If this was not true why would you see some 20 year old girl with a guy in his 60ís? Itís all about survival and it is just that simple. Being an expat in the country she knows you have a lot to offer her that she cannot get in many cases from a Filipino man.

Heart and body:

She may give her heart to you and love you deeply but her body is a source of income and that belongs to her and her alone. If you are not meeting all of her money needs she will find other ways to make it up that you can believe. Sure she will understand that you canít help her out and will tell you not to worry about it and she will find a ways somehow. When you hear this I would say itís a good idea to wonder what she is doing to handle this situation.

Never think she will not do this or that, if you do you are only fooling yourself.

Boyfriends, courters, friends:

In some cases you may not be the only one her life. She could have others waiting in line to move up in status. She could know many men that want to date her and make her their own. She will keep this guy on the side line and they know the deal and what is going on and that she has a boy friend. Depending on where she works and who is in town she may have a few boyfriendís at the same time all of which are supporting her. So once one boy friendís falls off she will just move the next guy up in the line.

Double standards:

Ok you have a girl friend that works in a bar, great. But if you go to another bar and buy a girl a drink you have hell to pay for it as I have said before but her is the twist, at the same time she is working in the bar sitting with different men but that is ok! Oh yeah I forgot that is only work! Yeah right!! Talk a about a no win situation for you, well this is it!

Never for one minute think any of the girls in her will tell you what happen while you out of time, again it is only business and she loves you so much, right? Now I am not saying while the guys are out of town they are messing around or that she is too but letís keep it real here ok!

The difference between business and pleasure in bar girl life is pretty damn thick with little grey area, got it! But they will play this on you, like you did something wrong but going to a bar and just buying a few drinks. First thing your girl will think is that you want to take her out of bar and have sex. While that may be true you didnít do it but still get accused it. But you canít turn that around on her and where she is working knowing the guys, like yourself when there to find a girl to take out and found her. Again for her is only business and thatís all.


One thing most women donít understand is that when a man falls for women, no matter where she works most will stay true to her for a long time. Bar girls never think this can happen which is understandable with all the bola bloa they go thought. For the guys to trust that their girlfriend will not leave the bar with another man can be a real bitch to handle. After all she works in bar she he knows she is there to make money. We all think about to how quickly they left with us either over night or just on a short time so her boyfriend at the time wouldnít know what she was doing on the side. Well now you are the boyfriend, so how to trust her completely?

But this brings ups up other questions, if she is your girlfriend, why is she still or why does she still want to working in the bar? If you supporting her or willing to supporting her, then why does she need to keep working?

We all heard the saying Ė ďYou can take the girl out of the bar, but you cannot take the bar out of the girl!Ē  Some girls really love the bar life, every night is party, money is good and they get to meet a lot of new people.

Another saying - ďHow can you tell if a bar girl is lying to you? Her lips are moving!Ē Because of the bar life lying comes as easy as breathing to these girls. They have to so they can protect themselves. After all they are told so much shit why should they be honest, right? Again it is not personal, it is just business! Understand the job and you understand the worker a lot better!

Well that is all I have to say, hope it helps some you out because I am still working at it!



© Warren's Subic Bay  / Last Update - 17 July, 2015